When my house burned down…

February 24^th, 2024 is a bit of a blur.  The start to how the morning actually went, is a vague memory at this point – but I remember helping prep some breakfast for my three kiddos, each wanting their own thing as usual, before hustling out the house to get to a 8AM board meeting, for a local non-profit I serve on.  Meanwhile my husband put the dogs up and schlepped our three kids to my oldest’s soccer game about an hour north.

It was a Saturday morning like so many others, until it wasn’t.

I remember hitting the Starbucks drive through for my usual matcha latte, recording a quick IG video to share how I’d be spending my Saturday (without guilt as I skipped my son’s soccer game) and was fully energized and ready to go into my first in-person board meeting with The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, where I had recently joined the board about six months prior.

We were in the middle of a vision board activity – totally my style — mapping out goals and visions for the year ahead for each of AFSP’s main pillars – education, support, programs and advocacy – all to help with our mission to save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide. 

My phone was in my bag, and I was in full on creative mode — cutting up magazines, finding inspirational quotes, glue-sticking items onto boards, alongside the other board members.

Thinking how this activity was so in line with the vision work I do with clients, I decided to grab my phone from my bag to snap a quick pic or video for our AFSP social media, and that’s when I saw I had 17 new text messages and over 20 missed calls. 

“Meg, pick up your phone, our house is on fire.” 

In just one instant, one moment, I learned my entire world would be flipped upside down.

As I hustled to get my belongings and head home (don’t worry, my fellow board members checked to ensure I was OK to drive), I got to my car, took a few deep breaths, and my thoughts started racing.

“How could this be true?”

“Is it bad?”

“Who should I call?”

“What about the dogs?”

“Holy shit.”

“Is this real?”

“Why us?”

It was in this last question, I knew despite any other answers, we would be OK. 

It’s weird to write that now, but I had this deep inner knowing, that despite the tragedy that unfolded, we were going to be OK.  I was going to be OK.  And I sensed this would be the greatest challenge that my family or I would have yet to experience. 

Losing everything.  EVERYTHING.  Except the cars we were driving.  The clothes on our back. 

I got in my car and called my husband first.  He had been contacted by our neighbor (who I later saw was who originally called and texted me.)  He didn’t know the extent, but was on his way home.

I then called my neighbor.  She said, “Megan, it’s bad.  It’s real bad.  I’m so sorry.  I don’t know what else I should say.  But I have to tell you, I don’t think the dogs made it.”

At this point, I’m driving down I-5, safely, and in such a state of shock.  I called my husband back, we cried as we drove.  A friend who was helping with my older son (who was still on the soccer pitch when my husband got up and left) called to see how she could support.  I said, “Let my people know what happened.  Text my girlfriends.  I don’t know what else we need.”

The next 48 hours were a complete whirlwind. 

Moving into a hotel with NOTHING except the clothes on our back.  Clothing, pjs, toothbrushes, stuffed animals dropped off by friends.  Backpacks, lunch pails, school supplies dropped off for my kids.  Sneakers and underwear and friends packed lunches for my kids for the next several weeks.  The kids returned to their “normal” routine of school and activities that Tuesday (we were told the sooner the better to get them back into routine) while my husband, Bo, and I spent the next two weeks really figuring out the extent as to what came next.

Over the next few weeks, which led into months, we moved between hotels, short term rentals, and friend’s places eight times, before 9 weeks later we landed in the long-term rental we are still in today as our home is still being rebuilt.

Our village stepped up.  Basic needs were met.  Tears were shed.  SO MANY TEARS.  So much loss. 

AND.

We still had each other.

AND

There is one thing so many people told me throughout those first few months (and even up until this day) which was,
“Megan, you just seemed so calm throughout this all.”

Don’t get me wrong, my friend, there were sleepless nights.  There was a lot of anger.  Confusion. Questioning.

And I kid you not, in the moment I saw the reality of the situation, I know were were going to be OKAY.

In the moment of this “lifequake” (a new term I just heard for the first time this week) —  I had a choice to make.  Succumb to the fear and pain or learn from the challenge. 

I had a deep inner knowing, I had everything I needed to help my family through this tragic, tragic situation. 

There was no doubt in my mind that we wouldn’t get through this, and I even started to believe in what my Dad told me in a convo the day after the fire, “Meg, this is the type of life event that is just going to make your family stronger.” 

Let me say, it’s definitely made us stronger, and it has challenged us, and continues to challenge us on many levels, almost daily.

Here’s the thing though…. had life thrown me this 5 or 10 years earlier, I’m not sure how I would have coped.  I 100% give credit to how I’ve survived this past year, dare I even share truly thrive, to my own wellness and personal development journey that I’ve been on for the last decade. 

With that said, one last piece I’d like to share with you is this.

When my house burned down, something else became so incredibly clear to me:

The fire is exactly why I do the work I do coaching women and inspiring others: 

It is to empower others to have the strength, resiliency, energy and confidence to move through any lifequake that life presents. 

Yes, doing personal development work is about you learning to have more patience with your kids on a day to day basis and establishing sustainable healthy habits so you feel good in mind and body and living a life that truly feels harmonious, joyful and in alignment….

AND

the deeper reason I’m now aware of is investing in your own self-care, your own growth journey, is so you’ve got the strength, resiliency, energy and confidence to move through any unexpected (or expected) lifequake that comes your way. 

My friend, I want to empower you to feel like your best today and everyday. 

I want to inspire you to care for your mind, body and soul so you can be present in the here and now.

AND I want you to feel like I did when my house burned down – I knew exactly what I needed to do, and how to do it, despite my world getting upended.

I turned inward,

I moved and fueled my body well.

I asked for support.

I got vulnerable.

I listened. 

I paused.

I communicated my needs.

I got curious.

I had a mindset that allowed me to not only get through, but also feel so much appreciation for what was, and for that I am grateful.

If you’ve gotten this far thank you.

I learned in situations such as your house burning down (or losing a job, a spouse leaving, losing a parent, you know the real life scenario that has, or will, impact you) it’s hard to know what you may even need.

What I learned in that moment, and had practiced for the years prior, was to TUNE inward and LISTEN to what it was I truly needed.

Those first few moments, which then crept into month, showed me, what I had practices for years leading up to this event, the “basic things” that had become part of every day lifestyle, overcoming my own perfectionism and people pleasing tendencies, all led to me having the capacity, the resilience, the agency to KNOW WHAT IT WAS I most needed in this lowest point.

I had the skills, know-how and grace to:

–ask for help

–lean into support

–Ask for what I needed

–Release perfectionism and control

–Live in gratitude

–Turning back to the basics, prioritizing movement and gratitude and nutrition and sleep

–Giving myself permission to grieve, to cry, to mourn.

I had the foundation to know what I needed to move through. The mindset and tools to care for myself consistently.

Here’s my ask for you, my friend:

Don’t wait to wait until tragedy to slow down.

Don’t wait until you’re in the thick of a really hard situation to hope you know how to care for yourself.

While tomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of our house fire, I continue to grieve all we’ve lost. As our home is still being rebuilt and we live in a rental amidst rental furniture, borrowed items, gifted items and replaced items, I continue to choose hope. I continue to step into possibility.

While I would never wish this experience upon anyone, it has brought so much growth and clarity.

And gratitude. So much gratitude. For community. For my own resilience and sense of agency. I knew what I needed to help guide my family in the unthinkable. I leaned in. I ask for support. I took care of myself. I helped guide us through one day at a time.

And this experience has 100% helped reframe the way I think about why I do the work I do, supporting other women.

Yes, it’s about gaining the strength and energy and patience on the day to day so you can show up fully and most present.

AND it’s about knowing yourself well enough so when life sh*ts on you, when the unthinkable happens, you have the flexibility and know exactly what you need, and take it.

You lean into support. You have the habits, routine and mindset tools to allow you to navigate any challenge. You have the resiliency, confidence and agency that allows you to move through the unpredictable with a sense of peace and calm.

My friend, learn from me, from my experience, you have the power to choose if the not-so-great things in your life, the things outside of your control will define you, or if they will be a chapter of your story that you can say you proudly navigated through, and can even be a source of inspiration as you continue on your own journey of self-love, self-trust, increased energy, confidence and life fulfillment.

Take care of you, my friend. And if I can support you in stepping into your most authentic, aligned, confident and energized life, please don’t hesitate to reach out. <3 xo